For The Love Below
10:35 AMIt wasn't until recently that I realized how much of a late bloomer I was compared to some of my friends. I didn't buy my first bottle of wine until I was 24. It wasn't until I was 23 that I purchased and wore my first thong and up until a couple of weeks ago , I had never had my lady waxed.
Now I know what you're thinking! But I'm no newbie to hair removal! I started shaving my nethers years ago but I had never waxed anything other than my eyebrows.
Before my coworker recommended her spa for wax services, I'd considered getting a wax in the past but had never made any arrangements to get it done.
I rarely have Saturdays off and by rarely I mean never. I had to request off so that I could study. I decided to take advantage of this off day and get my eyebrows and nails done. Since I had already scheduled these two self-care appointments, I decided to just go ahead and schedule an appointment with the European Wax Center.
Now, although I have my nose pierced and two tattoos, I am not one for pain. Not even 5 minutes after scheduling my appointment, I began to regret my decision. I started Googling first time wax experiences. Thankfully, there weren't too many horror stories but there was one thing I knew for sure, this procedure was going to hurt.
Needless to say, I was scared.
I looked into the proper preparation for bikini waxes. It was recommended to have your hair be no more or less than about 1/2 an inch, exfoliate, and of course make sure the area was clean beforehand.
She told me to lay down on my back with my legs Indian style and immediately she got to work. She cleaned the area with antibacterial wipes and added some powder. I asked her if she would be using hard or soft wax because I'd read online that there was a difference. "Its hard wax, its much better for you" she said as she laid the first wooden stick of wax on my lady.
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I tried to get as prepared as I could for the big day.
I trimmed, I exfoliated and before I knew it, it was game day.
I read online that many people take pain killers a few hours before to minimize pain but I'm a more natural kind of girl, I never take pain pills if I can help it so I decided to self medicate my own way.
The European Wax center asks that you arrive a few minutes early for your appointment, they did warn that there was a 9 minute grace period. I planned on being early but of course, CPT was working against me and I ended up arriving right at the 9th minute of my grace period.
So here I am elevated, rushing, sweating, and running into this appointment.
Me being late gave me no time to get acquainted with the lady who'd be staring my poon in the face for the next 20 minutes...So it was awkward to have to walk right in and be asked to undress completely from the waist down.
Hesitantly, I obliged. I undressed and laid on this medical- styled table.
It had paper on it and it felt like I was at the doctor's office. We made small talk and I asked her how bad this shit was going to hurt, "it will be fine," she said with a reassuring smile.
She told me to lay down on my back with my legs Indian style and immediately she got to work. She cleaned the area with antibacterial wipes and added some powder. I asked her if she would be using hard or soft wax because I'd read online that there was a difference. "Its hard wax, its much better for you" she said as she laid the first wooden stick of wax on my lady.
.. That.shit.was.hot.....
and from there it only got worse, I braced myself and then... she did it,
She pulled my soul through my pubic hair follicles.
I tried not to be dramatic but it was at that very moment, that I knew I fcked up.
It was just too late, The wax was paid for. I had already showed up, and I was already laying face up with my vagina in this ladies face.
"Why did I do this to myself?" I asked myself over and over again in my head until the last patch of hair was gone.
The area had a persistent sting, my pelvis seemed to scream at me for this betrayal.
Why, bih, why?
I don't know, kitty, I don't know.
I had no time to console my vagina's pain, I had an eyebrow waxing appointment that I had to get to. This was the day I formed my newfound disdain for waxing. I sat through the eyebrow waxing, at this point, numb to it all.
Once I left that appointment, my vagina finally shut up.
The stinging, the pain, all about gone and what was left was a beautiful bald and smooth vagina.
I now understood why I and many women before me had chosen to endure such pain. Although I admired my new porn star poon, a wave of horror washed over me.
I liked this bald punani just a little too much.
there's no way I would settle for shaving again,
I will have to endure this pain again.
Oh lawd..
The things we do for the love below.
2 comments
Girl I diedddddd!! #TooMuchTruth 😂😩🙃
ReplyDeleteI had a good laugh writing about this experience! Thank you for reading! <3
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